So, this would be my 'blog', what is a blog?
"a regularly updated website or web page, typically one run by an individual, that is written in an informal or conversational style."
Cool - I can do that, I think...
Why Blog? Well, over the years, since I became a mum, I have been encouraged by a number of friends to create a blog.
I'm told I can be funny, I'd definitely rather laugh than cry at stuff and all sorts of funny shit gets chucked my way in this house. I'm talking like 'curve balls' but also actual excrement too. When you are handed a huge shit by a child what else are you going to do besides say 'thank you darling' advise that all future shits should be directed to the toilet and then laugh your head off whilst noting the date and time in your 'baby book'. Surely I'm not the only one this type of thing happens to?
I have always put barriers in front of myself regarding a blog something along the lines of but I’m boring, no one would read it (they may not) and oh my god my grammar! What if people say mean things, what if people laugh at me?
Bottom line is I care what people think and I’m scared. So in answer to my own objections I now say:
Yes, I suppose I can look at myself as boring, however, everyone does the boring stuff at some point don't they? As mentioned above even my day to day stuff can be eventful and I specialise in seeing the positive and humour in any situation no matter how dire.
I am still not convinced that anyone will read a blog written by me, I am also a little scared that they WILL read it! We will see.
My poor spelling and Grammar have been issues since the days of Kephonics (back when we got glass bottles of milk at playtime), it’s not my thing. I admit I still don’t really know what a comma splice is or how to avoid it (I expect you will see them littered throughout this site - I really am so sorry Mr Witte!) but hopefully, despite only gaining a ‘C’ grade in Higher English, the content of my posts will be at the very least, understandable! So I need to get over my fear of being picked up for that and I should congratulate myself more on the fact that I no longer spell grammar with an 'e' in it. Well done me!
Since leaving employment, which was terrifying for me, I have committed to become the best and most happy version of myself I can be, through a journey of self-improvement. That sounds a bit wanky doesn't it? Basically, I need to embrace new challenges and push myself. So, this is me leaping away from the safety of lovely cuddly friends on Facebook and Instagram who love my posts because they love me. Undoubtedly, some people will say mean things to me or about me and they may laugh. Thats OK too, I can't control that. I want my children to be brave and fearless and so I better go ahead and lead by example.
Some elements of family life are tough, we are cool with that and blissfully happy a good 85 percent of the time. Like many other mums, I am not great at admitting when I am struggling, instead I tend to hide away or go off radar when things are particularly difficult. I am hard on myself, harder than I ever could be to anyone else. I am making a concerted effort to me more kind to myself.
What I have found out recently though, is that, by opening up about what I struggle with, I have been able to touch friends of mine who are going through similar experiences. I even made some people feel better about their own situation, I like that, I really like that. I am all about making people smile. I'm a born people pleaser with a degree in Hospitality my whole life has been about looking after others, it really is what makes me tick.
Don't get me wrong, I'm still much happier laughing about stuff that goes on here - that's generally how I stop myself being sad about how hard it can be, but I hope even that allows other people see that we are all going through similar stuff. No body has perfectly behaved children, all kids are learning and as they learn they usually push the hell out of any boundry you set. No body is the perfect parent all of the time, I have good days, I have AMAZING days but I also have shocking tearful PJ's and Ipad days and that is OK. My bad days do not define me, I am a good parent and the main reason for that is the fact that I give a shit, I want to do well, I try to do better every single day. It really matters to me that I am shaping my kids and showing them how the world works, I care, I research, I am willing to look at myself and the person I am because I want them to be good people but above all I am a good parent because I love them beyond words and they are always my top priority.
Anyway, I hope you can take something positive from our family chat it might even make you chuckle.