Quotes from our house

Just because in this madhouse I say and hear a lot of stuff that I never imagined I would.  

I'd love to hear the funniest things that are said in your house, add a wee comment.

  • I want a cud mummy, its a cuddle without the le and that means you have to sit still, don't move, don't blink or talk and I'll cud you.
  • What are you guys doing? 'We are naked and going tot he shop to get you a new fixed phone that's not broken so we can watch YouTube videos again'
  • Right, I think some nice kind person needs to help their sister and pick up the puzzle from the floor.  'No Mummy I am not  nice or kind person that person is you, you are a nice kind person'
  • Ok, time to tidy up time dude... 'No thanks mummy!'
  • Mummy do you want to smell my bummy?
  • Mummy, you are like a toy cos you are squishy like a teddy.  I like that.
  • I was a tiny bit sick but its ok, my mouth was so full of burger it kept it from coming out!
  • I want to play hide and seek with my pillow daddy!
  • Can you please go to the shop for some snacks and water for my scoopy doo?
  • Daddy, you are the master and mummy is the dame!
  • I really like you mummy, I'm probably quite shy with other normal people, they aren't like you.
  • Where are all the bloody heads?
  • Mummy, I just CAN'T stop liking you!
  • Ok but is the black car kind of red?
  • Mummy we kind of have a situation here
  • Mummy, I need you to cuddle my feet
  • Please stop sucking the table
  • Oi, are you farting or pooping?  Do you need to come out of the bath?
  • Right Dude strip off its PJ time!  Awwwww mummy you said I am not to get naked.  I know darling but thats when we are out of the house, not when we are getting changed.
  • Keep going guys, you are doing such a good job, well done Daddy!  (The dude coaching us all as we moved a new suite into the living room)
  • You are such a cool mummy mama!  (I'm sure the dude will not have this opinion for long so definitely worth noting!)
  • Stop farting at me dude I have something to tell you!
  • If I find a poop do I get a prize?

  • I'm on a mission mummy have you seen a poop around here?

  • I have a feeling there is a poop in this house somewhere.

  • She NEEDS to have a bath in the morning you can not send her to school with shitty feet.

  • Are these my devil horns mummy?

  • My daddy is probably called Michael.
  • Get in the bloody boat! (3 year old said to 7 year old, the 'bloody boat' was a massive, pulled off the wall fixed fire guard.)
  • L-J, L-J I've done something stupid, help me. 
  • RIGHT, I've had enough now, will you please stop barking over me when I am talking to Daddy!
  • Get that food in your mouth and stop pretending to be blind!

  • Dad can I have some more Fireman Sam on my pizza?  Eh Fireman Sam? Ahhh you mean Parmesan!

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Comments: 2
  • #1

    Lorna (Thursday, 28 September 2017)

    Four year old son shouting across a crowded cinema foyer " Mummy do you need some COCKPORN" ��

  • #2

    Mrs Madhouse (Thursday, 28 September 2017 11:36)

    HA! What mum doesn't need cockporn!?!?!? Thats a cracker! x